Valentine’s Day (& Night!) With Mr. Darcy & Co.


Valentine’s Day… ahhhh… the most romantic day of the year… better than Christmas AND my birthday!

I just know I’m going to get showered with the usual array of flowers, candy, and handmade, heartfelt valentines. I’ll be serenaded. lauded with compliments and proclamations of undying love and …

(For those of you old enough to understand this reference: 

Insert *record needle scratching across the record sound effect here.*)

So, what I’m going to be doing instead is this:

1. Taking a cold shower.

2. Treating myself to a venti decaf non-fat latte at Starbucks

(and yes, they have really cool Valentine’s Day cups now, see below)

3. Imagining my day as if I were surrounded by Mr. Darcy and a few other usual suspects

Coffee in hand, I’m going to pretend as if I’m as smart as Elizabeth Bennet, but as gorgeous as her sister Jane. While I’m at it, I’ll make myself as rich as Emma Woodhouse, as passionate as Marianne Dashwood, yet as steadfast as Elinor. I may as well be as young as Catherine Morland and yet as clear-headed in a crisis as the mature Anne Elliot.

I’ll start my day with Colonel Brandon…

…who, being the eldest hero of the bunch (yet, at 35, he’s still deliciously younger than me!) has his people drive the kids to school for me. After fighting (and winning) a duel on my behalf, he will then come back here and have his servants make us a wonderful romantic breakfast of fresh fruit, mimosas and … is that a flannel waistcoat hanging on my leopard-print lampshade?

Moving on to about the eleven o’clock in the morning hour, I have found that the combined intelligence of Elizabeth, Elinor and Anne has allowed me to finish my day’s work in one hour’s time, leaving the rest of the day free for debauchery of all kinds.

So, naturally, when Mr. Willoughby knocks on the door…

…I’m happy to invite him in. (What? You wouldn’t let him in? Yes, you would!) He proceeds to read me all of my favorite poems and he passionately says all of the right things at the right time. He sets out a picnic lunch of strawberries, artichokes, oysters on the half-shell and chilled white wine. He swoops me up off my feet and carries me to the picnic blanket. I sure enjoy his bad-boy ways but when he tells me my eyes shine brighter than the stars in the sky, I can’t help but laugh and show him the door.

Not long after a letter arrives in the mail, and it’s from none other than Captain Wentworth…

…I can’t disclose the contents of the letter, but we all know the man can write. Let’s put it this way: I now understand why Anne waited seven years for this guy. But alas, the Captain’s off at sea and nowhere near the Chicagoland area …

A footman arrives to tell me that Mr. Darcy…

…has kindly arranged for my kids to be chauffeured to their myriad of after-school activities by someone other than me, and this would’ve made my day right there! However, the footman also announces that the kids will be well taken care of for the duration of the evening. They will be fed and homework will be done and checked over! Mr. Darcy’s French chef will be providing a six-course romantic dinner for the two of us. That Mr. Darcy thinks of everything. But what’s a lady to do once her work is done and her children are away for the next six hours—on Valentine’s Day? Well, it seems Mr. Darcy has taken care of that little issue by making a grand, personal appearance. * Fade to black here, for about six hours. *

Around 9:30 pm Mr. Tilney…

…the most charming Austen hero of all, with hands down the best sense of humor, arrives with my kids in tow. He’s laughing and joking with them, and ha, ha, off they go to bed! Mr. Tilney, having a certain flair for fashion himself, requests a fashion show of my new spring outfits and I oblige, of course, catwalking as best I can! He advises me on the outfits that look best, showering me with compliments, champagne, and lovely writing journals all along the way. Wait! He notices a bit of lint on my top, and would I come closer? He flashes that mischievous Mr. Tilney smirk. Closer? Closer …

Suddenly there’s a loud knocking on my office door. I’m holding a cold cup of coffee and my laptop screen blinks a blank page at me.

“Mom?! Mom?!” It’s my daughter knocking. I look at my watch. It’s 8:30 in the morning on February 14th. “Are you going to drive us to school or what?!”

Do you think if I look in the mirror I’ll still be as gorgeous as Jane Bennet?

Just another day in the idyllic life of a Jane Austen-inspired fiction writer…

Happy Upcoming Valentine’s Day, Everyone & Love To You All

Which hero(es) or villain(s) would you spend your Valentine’s Day/Night with?


 This blog was originally posted on my group blog Austen Authors on Feb. 11 2012.







Happy 236th Birthday, Jane Austen! My Gift to You is…

(Do not open until December 16th)

A big thank you, first of all, to Maria Grazia of My Jane Austen Book Club and Katherine Cox of  November’s Autumn for inviting me to join in their Jane Austen Birthday Soiree. Check out the GIVEAWAY at the end of this blog–that would be a present for YOU! 

I’m raising my virtual glass of madeira in celebration of Jane Austen! These two fabulous blogmistresses were so kind as to ask me what I would give her for her birthday and…

A toilet?

With all due respect, my first thought was, I would most certainly give Jane Austen a fully functioning, flushing, modern toilet. No doubt Chawton Cottage, where she wrote most of her novels, did not have a water closet, and I would do one better and give the authoress a modern toilet. Certainly this would make her life, and her writing life, more comfortable! What? It’s so practical!

But then, a very selfish thought came over me. Jane Austen had to write laboriously, with quill and ink, paper and blotter. Now, this seems very romantic to us moderns who rarely write by hand any more, *sigh*…


In our era of texts, facebook messages, emails, writing with quill and ink, by hand at all for that matter, seems quaint and precious.


(An 1804 draft of Jane Austen’s The Watsons)

Ink blotches, spills, and the time it takes to dip the pen in ink aside, I cannot imagine writing on paper, in such linear fashion, with cross-outs. What would I do without my DELETE button? Without being able to CUT and PASTE? To insert at whim? I look back on my early college years with a typewriter and white-out and shudder. No wonder I was up all night typing and retyping. It had nothing to do with procrastination, did it?

Which brings me to my point of a selfish birthday present for Jane Austen. Forget the toilet. That would be just for her. I would give her something I’m coveting (hint, hint Santa).

 A Mac Air for Jane Austen.

With a Mac Air, Jane Austen could write so much faster! Just imagine. Instead of just six completed novels, we might have sixteen, or more. So you see, my gift to her would be, essentially, a gift for myself, of more novels written by her. This would be a gift for you, too, dear readers!

For the romantics out there, I offer you Jane Austen’s sister-in-law, Martha Lloyd’s recipe for making your own ink for your quill pen. This recipe also appears in my book, Definitely Not Mr. Darcy:

Make Your Own Ink:

Take 4 ozs of blue gauls [gallic acid, made from oak apples], 2 ozs of green copperas [iron sulphate], 1 1/2 ozs of gum arabic. Break the gauls. The gum and copperas must be beaten in a mortar and put into a pint of strong stale beer; with a pint of small beer. Put in a little refin’d sugar. It must stand in the chimney corner fourteen days and be shaken two or three times a day.

I, for one, will be looking for a Mac Air under the tree. Until then, Happy Birthday, Jane Austen!!!

A Present For You–The Giveaway!!

In honor of Jane Austen’s birthday, I’m giving away two signed copies of DEFINITELY NOT MR. DARCY plus a Jane Austen candle, tea, and a coaster. Simply leave a comment below and remember to include your email address! If you have no idea what to say, you can comment on what you think about my giving Jane Austen a Mac Air. 

Contest ends December 23rd.

  Please check out the rest of the blogs and giveaways in the Jane Austen Birthday Soiree:

Sharon Lathan Giveaway : Miss Darcy Falls in Love

O! Beauty Unattempted Giveaway: Letters of Love & Deception

Austenprose Giveaway: signed copy of Jane Austen Made Me Do It

SemiTrue Stories Giveaway: Mr Darcy Little Sister (open worldwide)

First Draft Giveaway:  a signed copy of “My Jane Austen Summer” and a package of Lily Berry’s Pink Rose Tea by Bingley’s, Ltd.

Regency stories set against the backdrop of Regency England Giveaway: I was Jane Austen Best Friend by Cora Harrison

Brant Flakes Giveaway : A canvas ACCORDING TO JANE tote bag and a pair of A SUMMER IN EUROPE luggage tags.

Mesmered’s Blog Giveaway : Anna Elliot’s  “Georgiana Darcy” (Kindle book)

The Heroine’s Bookshelf   Giveaway :  a set of Potter-Style Pride and Prejudice notecards  

vvb32 reads Giveaway: Jane Austen’s Little Instruction Book (Charming Petites)

ReginaJeffers’s Blog Giveaway:  An autographed copy of “Christmas at Pemberley “

Alyssa Goodnight    Giveaway: Jane Austen Action figure

Jane Austen in  Vermont Giveaway:  JASNA 2012 calendars from the Wisconsin JASNA Region

Jane Started It!  Giveaway:

  • One copy of Young Master Darcy: A Lesson in Honour by Pamela Aidan
  • One set of Frederick Wentworth, Captain (Books 1 and 2) by Susan Kaye
  • Two copies of Mercy’s Embrace: So Rough a Course (Book 1) by Laura Hile
  • George Kinghtley, Gentleman (Books 1 and 2) by Barbara Cornthwaite.

Choc Lit Authors’ Corner Giveaway:  a copy of “Persuade Me”  and one of “The Importance of Being Emma”

Reading, Writing, Working , Playing Giveaway: a copy of  “Intimations of Austen”, and Sense & Sensibility (Marvel Illustrated)

The Jane Austen Film Club  Giveaway:  a copy of Northanger Abbey DVD starring Felicity Jones and JJ Feild (The winner will choose region 1 or 2 DVD)

El Salón de Té de Jane Giveaway:  – Spanish edition of Sense and Sensibility for the 200th Anniversary + A DVD package with adaptations of Jane Austen

Kaitlin Saunders Giveaway: “A Modern Day Persuasion”

One Literature Nut Giveaway: selection of Austenesque Reads

Patrice Sarath Giveaway: A copy of The Unexpected Miss Bennet

Jane Austen Brasil Giveaway: DVD – Sense and Sensibility (1995) – English / Portuguese subtitles

Jane Austen Sequels  Giveaway:  a mug with one of  Jane Odiwe’s illustrations and a copy of her “Mr Darcy’s Secret”

Stiletto Storytime Giveaway: Noble Satyr by Lucinda Brant (Regency Romance)

Jennifer W. Becton Giveaway: An ebook of the Personages of Pride and Prejudice Collection, which contains all of my Austenesque works: Charlotte Collins, “Maria Lucas,” and Caroline Bingley. The giveaway will be open internationally.

Urban Girl Takes Vermont Giveaway: a copy of Vera Nazarian’s gift hardcover edition of her inspirational calendar and diary, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Pemberley Variations

AustenAuthors Giveaway:  Georgette Heyer’s Regency World by Jennifer Kloester

November’s Autumn Giveaway :$10 B&N Gift-card (US only)

My Jane Austen Book Club Giveaway : A selection of Austenesque reads